Necessary hiatus

Army stuff will keep me from blogging with any regularity until after National Day at the earliest.

That is all.

Yay for unity

Army personnel will quarrel over anything. I was doing marshalling duty at a corner of the Padang during yesterday's National Day Parade rehearsal and there was this section of orange netting we'd put up to prevent people from going behind the grandstands, but which the artillery people wanted taken down so participants could cross. Our officers eventually relented, on the condition that the arty guys would take over responsibility for human traffic at that entrance; apparently they didn't, and it ended with our PC having words with the arty guys' officer (or she might have been a warrant) and our acting OC making a point to tell me and the other marshals not to put up the orange netting (a half-a-minute job) once the participants were done, because after all it's the arty people who took it down. Uh, okay.

In other news, sunburn sucks. Next time there's a rehearsal, I'm going to make sure I get assigned to a post on the other end of the Padang, where there actually is some shade. I swear, I drank all the contents of my green water bottle plus five small bottles of Newater between noon and 3pm and didn't need to go to the toilet once.

The return of fragmented posts

The army is so wonderfully efficient. My company spent yesterday afternoon putting up orange netting around the grandstands-in-construction at the Padang; it took that long due to all junior commanders' well-known obsession with making everything remotely string-like as taut as is humanly possible. Then we spent this morning taking it all down and putting it up again in a slightly different configuration. And then we went for a break and came back to find that some guys from artillery had removed a large portion of it so they could work on the tarpaulin on the field. Well done, artillery guys. We only secured the netting with lengths of steel wire; why wouldn't we be happy for you to remove it?

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Apparently, giant gerbils infest China. It isn't right that a perfectly serious ecological disaster should sound so entertaining ('An explosion of gerbils is decimating vast areas of grasslands. . .'). I love the little profile of the Great Gerbil. Via Asiapundit.

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Under 'music news no one gives a shit about': I finally got around to listening to the Dirty Three CD JH passed me and am surprised to find I like it. I'm no music critic and certainly no musician; the best description I can give is 'like Gybe! but less longwinded'. Warren Ellis is now officially my second favourite Warren Ellis.

Stuff I'm planning to buy some time in the near future: Picaresque by The Decemberists, In Case We Die by Architecture in Helsinki, and Marquee Moon by Television, that last also introduced to me a few months back by JH, who I'd never heard say anything complimentary about punk before. Surprises surprises.

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And now I have to go figure out a way to dry my right boot by tomorrow morning (a hair dryer will probably have to be involved at some point), as I seem to have worn out the sole to the point where the motion of walking causes it to suck in air (or water) through the heel. It rained today in the early afternoon; I was puttering about the Padang till half-past six. Do the math.

Full circle

Rifleman, Delta Company, infantry unit
Runner, Commander's Office, division
Clerk, Admin Branch, training institute
Signaller, HQ Company, combat engineer unit
Signaller, Delta Company, combat engineer unit

Fuck.

Now that's entertainment

Here's why you need a positioning clause when you take out ad space online:


Via Stay Free!

Writerly whining post

I've been a little burned out on all kinds of writing lately. Usually when this happens I stop consciously trying to write, refuel by loading up on reading material and just let things happen, but it doesn't seem to be working this time. I don't think I've turned out more than half a page of probably unusable fragments in the past month, pretty phrases that lead to nothing further. Army stuff (of which more later), Whatnot issues and worries about uni aren't helping. I need a breakthrough. Alternatively, I need to go see Donald Lau about a job. . . .

Guns love Bush but he does not love them back

US Secret Service visits blogger over photoshopped picture

Via Doug Lain's Blog, Jeremy Lassen, noted publisher of fantasy/horror/sf at Nightshade Books, was either asked or forced to take down his blog by US Secret Service. Allegedly, Lassen put up an image of kids aiming guns at President Bush in protest over what he perceived to be violations of First Amendment rights.

That Jeremy Lassen. I told him from the start that his plans to dominate the free world with an army of preschoolers were doomed to failure.

By the way, here's the Secret Service action the picture was in response to:

Shortly before the gallery opening of "Axis of Evil: The Secret History of Sin" last Thursday at Columbia College in Chicago, two Secret Service agents came to the gallery to ask questions and take photos. "Axis of Evil" is a provocative exhibit of mock postage stamp art that explores the question, "What is Evil?" and includes many disturbing images. Among the works prompting questions was artist Al Brandtner's "Patriot Act." It portrays President Bush with a gun pointed to his head in a style that parodies the typical American Flag and Presidential Portrait postal stamps.

According to The Chicago Sun-Times, Secret Service spokesman Brandon Bridgeforth commented, "We are doing some inquiries into the art exhibit. We're just doing some looking into it."

I'm blogging this out of mild interest, but my heart's not really in it. It's difficult to work up a feeling of outrage or whatever knowing that if someone did something like that here in Singapore and a visit from the ISD plus removal of the offending blog were all that resulted, that in itself would have to be considered a great victory for freedom of speech.

Real tits send fake tits to Aceh

Australian medical aid to quake-ravaged Indonesia included breast implants

A health specialist complained on Thursday that medical aid sent by Australia to victims of the Dec. 26 earthquake and tsunami in Indonesia included breast implants and other "inappropriate" goods.

Jan Rice said on ABC radio that she traveled to the worst-hit province of Banda Aceh with a government AusAID delegation three months after the disaster and found the donated implants in a store room.

Rice, a specialist in wound care from Monash University's Victoria College of Pharmacy in Melbourne, said she also found drugs that were out of date and other useless supplies.

"I found a box with breast implants in it and drugs out of date," she said.

I was a bit let down to discover that 'other "inappropriate" goods' just meant expired drugs and (later in the article) unusable equipment. The phrase brings to mind so many more interesting, spam-ish possibilities. (Via Flying Chair.)

Telling it like it is

From the cover of a pirated DVD:


Via BoingBoing.

(The title of this post is a lie. I actually loved the movie.)

Two great tastes that taste great together

Seen on a set of Battalion Routine Orders—

Safety Message of the Day
Secondary smoke harms your family members.

Thought of the Day
"That which does not kill you only makes you stronger."—Nietszche

Signboard crusaders

From the forum section of (where else?) today's ST—


Earnest asininity or a clever mockery of the letters that usually get sent in on this topic? I can't decide.

Adventures in cinebiography

My mom's watching that Sylvia Plath movie from a while back on Star Movies. This has to be the first time I've seen a biopic shot like a horror movie—sinister music, shadowy rooms and corridors, footage of the moon being covered by clouds, evil-looking trees swaying in the wind, the female lead lying half-submerged in a tub, sudden blackouts etc. I keep expecting a monstrous oven to leap out from one of those ominously dark doorways (there are many) and swallow her up. 'Behind you, Sylvia!'

My favourite bit is when she says, 'Before we met we were like two halves walking around with gaping holes shaped like the other person', or somesuch twaddle, and the actor playing Ted Hughes is looking at her with this blank expression, like he's thinking, 'Hold on a second, now how would that work?'

Adventures in ST abuse

I'm amazed at how poorly linked to Commentary Singapore is. This is a quality blog. Is it the awkward name that puts people off?

Anyway, here's a good post on that ridiculous NUS = possible Aids Chernobyl OMG!! article in the ST a couple of days back. I remember reading it in the ops room and having a grade A face-palm moment, but I wasn't able to blog about it then as I was on duty, and I'd forgotten it by the time I got home yesterday. Wang Zhen's post reminded me, at the same saving me the trouble:

The AIDS Issue—Theresa Tan Mucks It Up Again

Theresa tells us that most NUS undergrads are of the mistaken impression that their chances of getting AIDS are far below that of other people.

At the same time, she seems to find delicious irony in the fact that most NUS undergrads think that the "No One Is Immune From AIDS" campaign is effective.

In case you haven't detected the flaw yet in Theresa's logic yet, let me explain it to you.

I, Mr Wang Zhen, share one thing in common with most NUS undergrads. I believe that my chances of getting AIDS are very low. What is the basis of my belief?

1. I do not frequent prostitutes.
2. I have never had sex with a prostitute.
3. In fact I have never had sex with anyone except my wife.
4. To the best of my knowledge and belief, she has never had sex with anyone but me.
5. I do not abuse drugs and hence I do not share needles with anyone.

Therefore I believe that my chances of getting AIDS are very low. And I do not think that my belief is mistaken.

Theresa Tan tells us that most NUS undergrads believe that they have a low chance of getting AIDS. She also tells us that this belief is an illusion. But why does Theresa think so?

It may well be the case that most NUS undergrads, like Mr Wang Zhen, are indeed at low risk. For example, many of these undergrads may still be virgins. Others may be engaging only in safe sex. Only a very small minority may actually be promiscuous.

If Theresa wants to show that the NUS undergrads are really under an illusion of low risk, then she must give evidence that in fact, NUS undergrads engage in high-risk behaviour. Where is that evidence? It is not found anywhere in Theresa's article.

Nicely done.

Reinventing the chicken suit

Clothing for chickens

Austrian Edgar Honetschlaeger said he decided to work with the Japanese on the project because he hoped to make the chicken label clothing essential. He said "It's something that you don't really need but everyone wants to have anyway".

Riiiight. Via BoingBoing.

Thank you sir, may I have another?

Meet James Seng, an assistant director with IDA, internet pioneer, Tomorrow editor and total fucking troll.

James, unlike you, I'm open to criticism and I won't go into hissy fits over whether or not a comment is 'constructive'. Here's a tip, though: if you're going to stomp around in people's comment boxes acting the big man, it's only civilised to respond when the person you're slinging shit at takes the time to ask you what exactly has you so riled. Yes, I know being civilised isn't exactly at a premium in the government sector (except when it comes to people with more impressive job titles and later stage hair recession than you), but in addition to making you a big ol' jerk, pointedly ignoring my rather innocuous question fingers-in-ears, lalalalala-I'm-not-listening style while making awkward sidelong jabs in the course of insulting other readers makes you look a little—dare I say it?—juvenile.

Speak when spoken to or go to your room. Thanks much.


Edit: I take it all back. James Seng is a classy, classy guy:

As I said, I have my fun as been a troll. I was laughing all my way doing my commenting while you on your side is fuming. That's the whole purpose of being a troll. And most importantly, you bite (as in this post) haha.

You heard the man: his troll-fu is strongest. There's nothing for me to do now but bow before his superior mastery of teh internets.

Adventures in unfortunate headlining

Bush Anxious to Learn More of Deep Throat


Via Nick Mamatas's LJ.

Whatnot Magazine wants you!

Whatnot Magazine (previously known as The Metastatic Whatnot) has reopened to submissions. We are now reading for our October issue. Both poetry and prose are welcome, though non-fiction will not be considered at this time. Payment is US$5 per piece for works under 20 lines/1000 words long and US$10 per piece for longer works, payable on publication. For more detailed guidelines and instructions on how to submit, please visit http://whatnotmagazine.com/submissions.html or enquire at editor(at)whatnotmagazine.com.

More advertising genius

Because when I think 'fun', having a huge hairy spider crawl across my face is the first thing that comes to mind. (Perhaps what this photo is actually meant to represent is an acid trip?)

Advertising genius

From SomethingSticky.